words and such

You know how some people, when they take a drink, swish it around in their mouth before swallowing it?

I think I do that with words.

My family, including extended family, has a slightly annoying habit of repeating words over and over. And over and over. Words or phrases whose sounds they like or enjoy or can't quite conquer. My dad, when learning a language, would repeat words over and over until he got it right.

I do this also, but I do it silently. I'll latch onto a name or phrase or word that is just so interesting. I see a sign on a professor's door, or a name on facebook. I'll read a phrase in a book. There is something about the sound or the combination of sounds that is fascinating, difficult, unusual. I roll it around in my mouth or in my brain like that drink. Sometimes I roll it a couple times and swallow. Sometimes I swish it all day until it drives me crazy, then I swallow. I just really like sounds and words.

Lately some of my senses have seemed heightened. I realized that I have an acute sense of smell. A non-burning candle sitting next to me smells so strong I have to move it. Somebody opens something across the table and I smell it. It's weird.

Riding my bike to and from school every day was another sort of sensory overload. It's hard work, but I loved the feeling of being so close to nature. I mean, I'm riding down a city street, but I am outside. If it is rainy or cloudy or sunny or so windy, that affects me. I have to be aware of what it is like outside. My skin starts to tan. I sweat. I need sunglasses. When I drive it doesn't matter. I am insulated.

I leave the country in 34 days.

what's new

It's nearly two a.m. and I haven't blogged in a long time, but there seems to be a resurgence on the blogosphere. I don't know. Here is some stream of consciousness:

My car broke down over spring break. I started biking to campus and back. Then some people in the church gave me their car. Whoa. Since when does that happen. I am really thankful and blessed. Talk about unexpected. I love community.

So the driver's side door handle doesn't work in this car. When I want to get out, I have to open the window and reach out. But the window handle is hard to crank, so I lower it only as much as absolutely necessary. But then I end up pressing my arm against the top of glass and now I have a bruise.
This statement is more effective in person when I can show it to you and whine.

I am going to L'viv, Ukraine next month for two months with MTW. This is a great opportunity and I am getting more and more excited about it. Taking the gospel overseas is a frightening and exciting thing and I want to see what it is like. I can't wait to meet university students and see the city and learn about missions. I just facebooked the three other people that are coming for the summer. Yikes.

Okay but the other thing about going is that it takes money. A lot of money. And I have to have it by the end of the month. So I have sent out support letters, but I really just don't know how to go about this. This is a huge amount of money and I don't think I can raise it. But I also think I can. I'm worried on a logical, intellectual level, when I try to calculate how much I need to raise, from how many people, in how many days, etc. But if I don't try to calculate, and think about being in Ukraine in six weeks, it doesn't seem scary. But then I just think I'm in denial.

So I don't know.